Dear eneME

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I’ve just about had it with your habit of popping up whenever I’m about to get out of my comfort zone. Whenever opportunity comes knocking, you are the first one to remind me of the countless ways I could fail, the countlesss ways it could go wrong, how my faults will stop the possibilities from being a reality. If you did that once, I’d excuse you, but this is your modus operandi, it’s as if anything challenging is ultimately bad for me, or should I say for us, given how the thought of me stepping up totally gives you the chills?

Speaking of chills, whenever there’s an opportunity to chill out rather than challenge myself, you often push me towards the former. I don’t get it, there isn’t much benefit attached to comfort other than immediate gratification in the form of being ‘not-tired, ‘ or having ‘not-failed.’ You know what? I’ve failed a couple of times, and as much as it bummed me out in the short-term, it cemented in my mind the possibilities that lay ahead. Failure does not exist in a vacuum, if we can fail, we can also surely succeed.

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If I had the chance, I would surely give you a hard-reset and make your default setting ‘optimist’ rather than the current ‘pessimist.’ The current pessimistic condition makes it easier to avoid taking chances. I often fall for your ‘we are gonna fall!’ routine even before we get to the bridge. If you were more optimistic, you’d be telling me ‘think of all the awesome stuff on the other side of the bridge!’ and while you are at it, tell me ‘at least you tried’ when you think about previous failures. Maybe that way, I’d be more eager to go, rather than not going at all or making half-hearted attempts.

You should start by reminding me about all the awesome things I’ve achieved, from the mundane to the earth-shattering. Just whisper them in my ear from time to time. The relationship we have is unconditional and unbreakable. Even my shadow leaves me when the light goes away. We have been together through good times, and bad times. You know me inside-out and know that I don’t have a way of shutting you out. That’s because you are me, and all I’m saying is.. I want you to look out for me abit more. Be more of my friend and less of my eneME.

Signed, Me.

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